The Journal of John Kuo

Friday, June 12th, I am marrying Nana Kimigawa.

It will be a Buddhist ceremony--we're both Buddhists, though non-practicing--held in the back yard of our new home. Traditionally, only family members are invited, though we've extended our guest list to friends who can make it on such short notice. Gone are the days of leisurely planning a wedding over months with ample time for invitations to go out and preparations to be made; marriage before the lottery takes priority. I suppose that we could have a civil ceremony and then have a traditional wedding later, but Nana wanted to do it this way, to make it more real, and I can't deny her this. So we're just on a slightly--all right, greatly accelerated schedule. We've been planning and setting things in motion for the past week and a half, and I think, that with the help of both our families, we'll do just fine.

I'll be wearing traditional Japanese garb for the wedding: two kimonos, hakama (the full pleated trousers that look like a skirt), haori (short jacket), obi (sash), tabi (little white socks with split toes), and geta (traditionally, wooden sandals, but I'm getting away with wearing shoes similar to flip flops).

Nana won't be wearing the traditional Japanese wedding ensemble, but something far simpler. My mother said that it took three people nearly two hours to get her dressed properly, and that didn't count the wig and all its accessories.

This is not me, obviously, but a picture I picked off the net to show what I mean:



This is a picture of Nana that she gave me not long ago, of her wearing a kimono. I don't know if she'll wear this one, but what she does wear will be similar in style if not color:



I have absolutely no doubts that marrying Nana is the right decision for the both of us. She is intelligent, kind, loving, beautiful. She brings me a measure of peace and grace lacking in my stressful life. I wish to share my life with her, to have children with her, to create a family with her. If she allows it, I want to adopt Rose and raise her as my own. It's easy to say the word love; it's bandied around until it's almost lost its meaning. What's more important is showing it, putting the work into building a life and relationship together. The old saw about how actions speak louder than words remains true. Nana and Rose are worth any effort.

I have a perfectly nice apartment at the Pennington Condominium, but I chose it mostly because it was close to the hospital, not because I particularly liked it. So this week I've been looking at properties, at places that are actual houses with actual yards. I've found one that I like, and although I'm not one of these people who ascribe a particular importance to the "feel" of things, this one "feels" good. I went out to see it today.

( Pictures below the cut )

It's an Arts and Crafts home, built in 1910, and in a very good neighborhood. It has six bedrooms, four and a half baths, two fireplaces, wood floors, and beautiful woodwork. A full basement, two floors of regular rooms, and a tiny garret up at the very top. It has a large yard that would be perfect for a garden. It isn't like a modern home that looks like a series of boxes; this one has odd-shaped rooms, and a definite sense of character.

I'm giving this serious thought. I'd like to put down roots. I'm thirty, an established professional, and have a vague longing for permanence. My father says he's not surprised, and if I do buy a house, he'll help me with a rose garden. My mother says that with six bedrooms, I'd best be thinking of marrying and beginning to fill them up. They would love grandchildren; continuance of the family lines have always been important in both Chinese and Japanese cultures. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought about that.

I do like this home, and will think about it over the weekend.

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